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Monday, July 25, 2005

A dog-lover emailed me recently, I guess in the hopes of pointing out where our logic fails when we say that we hate dogs and pets. I just sent our response back to her. Hopefully you will gain some amusement from our exchange.

I have to say that this is one of my masterpieces.

First, what she said:

Hello,I just recently came across your site.I read every bit of it and visited the other animal hate sites you have listed on your page.I would greatly appreciate it if you would read through my e-mail and relpy with your opinion.I love a healthy debate and am up for one every day of
the week.

First off we as humans eat animals.Yes? We've depended on them for thousands of years for food.Now I want you to picture something.There's a farmer.Lets say a sheep farmer.It could be modern times or go back a far as you like.He's losing about three sheep a week to coyotes,wolves,bears,mountain lions,etc. This is a big loss for him.His livelihood depends on
these sheep.Whether he sells them,their wool,or eats them.He can't stay up all night shooting wild animals out of his pasture.No fence can keep a determined predator out.He invests in,lets say,two dogs.Probably Great Pyrenees since they are very large and white,blending in well with his herd.As puppies he places them with the sheep so they bond.Upon reaching their very large full grown size they have bonded so much to the sheep they will defend them at all costs.The man now has something more valuable than either guns or fences.These dogs
protect his sheep,keeping the wild predators away from his flock.Thus there are
less sheep killings,probably none.These dogs have proven their worth.All they
need in return is basic care.Food,shelter,etc.They are much less expensive
than hired hands and earn their keep by saving him hundreds of dollars in sheep.This
story is repeated a thousand times over in the US alone.

Lets skip to another chapter.Guide and service dogs for the blind or
disabled.These dogs work every day guiding their blind humans through busy city
streets and deserted country backroads.The service dogs help their humans all day
turning on lights,closing and opening doors,helping them get dressed,fetching
things they've dropped.These dogs give these people a level of indepence they
couldn't achieve on their own.To people like these,those dogs are invaluable.

What about those police dogs,out there risking their lives with their police
officer partners?They're are out there putting their lives on the line for
us.Tracking criminals,missing children,making drugs busts,and finding bombs.Many
things,we,as humans,aren't capable of doing.I don't even want to think about
all those missing children and adults who would have never been found without
those canines.

Last but not least are those dogs and other animals out there that are simply
our friends.I couldn't begin to count how many times I've heard stories of a
regular family pet rescuing their families,saving them,protecting them.What
about Sasha the Golden Retriever who saved her family from a house fire?What
about Nicky,the family Scottish Terrier who alerted his family to a burglar?What
about Buddy,the lovable mixed breed rescued from the pound who saved his owner
from drowning in the icy depths of a partially frozen lake,forsaking his own
life for the person he loved?

They are there for us when we feel lonely,keep us company in our darkest hours. They accept us at face value.No questions asked.They don't look at the clothes we wear,the places we live,the things we own.They love us for who we are.In the animal world none of the other things matter.

And yet dogs and other pets are worthless?They don't need to exist?They are,as you said,"four-legged freaks"?They do nothing for us?My friend,I can only choose to believe that if someone's vision is so clouded to not realize all our animal friends do for us,that they must be a recluse,someone who has lived in the dark for all their lives.Someone who is ignorant
to the world around them.For those people.I feel very sorry for you.

And here is what I composed for her in response:

Hi,

Thanks for your email and for visiting our web site. Here is what I have to say about your various assertions:

1) Animals as food - At PFL (Pet Free Lifestyle), we are concerned with pets, not farm animals or livestock. Pets are often forced upon us when we are trying to visit other humans in their homes and we have to put up with leg-licking, stinky, unruly, and/or loud dogs interrupting our human activities. Since farm animals are not in homes, they are not a big problem in our minds and for our organization. Naturally, our favorite animal (if we HAD to pick one) is the cow because we would not want to live without hamburgers.

2) Seeing Eye Dogs - I can't say I've ever come across a seeing eye dog personally. But thank GOD I am not blind because I would not ever want to rely upon a dog for my daily needs. Obviously, dogs that actually help humans and do human-type activities in a calm and productive manner are not as shitty and worthless as other pets. However, as Chris Rock said, you could also pair blind people with midgets and that would be as effective, if not better.

3) Police dogs - Big Ups to policemen and firemen! They are the best that humankind has to offer. But again, these service animals are not pets and are not in human homes. They are somehow, despite their god-given disgusting animal natures, helping society and mankind. They have actually paused from chewing on someone’s furniture and humping legs long enough to perform an important duty. Like the seeing eye dogs, any animal that is saving human lives (especially without me having to witness it or touch their mangy fur in the process) is actually improving the world. If I were a firewoman, I would refuse to work with a fire dog, though. And, one of the key goals or our organization is that I - as a free and intelligent American - should have the right to object to having animals around me. Just as others have the right to like animals. Even though I think it's stupid.

4) You mentioned particular cases of family dogs rescuing people. Since I am a human with a brain, I do not need a dog to help me survive. I will never have a dog in my home and I can guarantee you that I will survive just fine. People who need a dog to rescue them probably wouldn’t have lasted very long in the world anyways. It’s not that hard to smell a fire, call 911, install an alarm system, or protect yourself. What kind of person goes out on an icy lake anyway? I can assure you that I would know better than to ever do that.

5) Dogs as "friends" - I guess it's true that some people consider dogs their friends, but that makes no sense whatsoever. Animals do not deserve equal status as humans. And, more than that, it is extremely pitiful if someone finds more comfort and "love" from an animal than from humans. You called me a recluse, but seriously - how reclusive, anti-social, and pathetic do you have to be to be "friends" with a dog? Get some human friends! Focus on people that can actually speak an English word. Why would you want to be "friends" with someone that has never read a book and would sooner shit on your carpet than go to a movie with you? Christ almighty - my blood pressure is going up right now, just thinking about people who think that their dog is their friend.

Here is a story that further illustrates my points, from a fellow PFL member: “There is this guy at my work who insisted that I would like his lame piece of shit dog, Buffy, that basically looks like a turd with fur and legs...and he’s all "Buffy is diffffferennnnt.... Bufffy is sooooo nice..... She’s not like other dogs!!!!!" Then like 2 weeks ago he came in with a big bloody gash on his nose and it turned out that Buffy had bit him right on the fucking face.” How’s that for friendship? If that’s how dogs treat their “friends” then I am even more of a frickin’ genius that I ever thought!

AND... furthermore, dogs do not "accept" people as they are. They just don't happen to run away from you because you are the one giving them food and water at the moment. Dogs eat their own poo - so why any one would give any credence to what a dog "thinks" about them is beyond me! I have seen a dog vomit up a bunch of disgusting, regurgitated shit and then happily eat it right back up again. Why would I care what such a creature “thinks” about me? Maybe humans are judgmental, but at least close to 100% of them wouldn’t do that kind of crap in a million years! For god's sake, dogs can't think beyond their noses, asses, and tongues, anyways.

To sum up, I think you are confusing our organization's hatred of pets in homes with the tiny percentage of dogs that perform services in society, whether that be as food, guides, or rescuers. They are completely different issues. The overwhelming majority of dogs don't do shit all day and people who find comfort in their lazy, dirty, greedy presence have serious mental issues, in my opinion.

And lastly, about myself - I graduated from UCLA in 3 years and I have been a teacher for 6 years. I read constantly and I am a professional writer. I am far from ignorant of the world around me, as you suggested. The reason we created PFL is because it is annoying that we are looked upon as inherently wrong in our opinion about dogs/cats/pets/etc. just because the rest of society feels differently than us. It is totally unreasonable for people to insist that we like animals, and that if we don’t then there is something wrong with us and our morals or our outlook. Our views are every bit as legitimate as those of pet-lovers. Unfortunately many people cannot handle dissenting opinions on this issue, so we have had to band together to make our voices heard and stand up for each other. If you consider yourself an engaged and enlightened person, then you should accept the opinion I have presented here and on our web site, even if you don’t agree with it. I have had to put up with the fur-covered manifestations of pet-lovers’ viewpoints for my entire life

Beth of PFL

P.S. If my cursing or sarcasm offend you, then all I could say is that you knew the tone of my web site and my sense of humor before you engaged me in this discussion, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. Hopefully you could get a chuckle or two out of this, even though I am of course quite serious with my points.

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

OK, I'm inspired now.

Must HATE KILL MAIM AND DESPISE Dogs

The first time I saw the preview to this movie, I was in a theater with a really sweet friend of mine who doesn't have a mean bone in her body. I want her to like me. I don't want to scare her. So, I zipped my mouth shut and tried not to react to the literal dog feces that was displaying itself to me on the screen. It was quite a monumental accomplishment that I didn't throw myself on the nasty, sticky floor of the movie theater convulsing in a laughing fit of disgust and horror. I can only imagine the ruckus that I would have visited upon the poor theater-goers if I had been there with a fellow PFL-member such as my husband or sister. It would have been all over. We would have been kicked out for sure.

But as it was, I could only sit there silently and wait for the frickin' "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" to start. I can't believe my heart and mind even functioned after having to consider that a movie called "Must Love Dogs" would be coming to a theater near me this summer.

Please don't see this movie. Please send a message to Hollywood that we will not tolerate such shitty concepts in our movies. This is the most evil type of propaganda - the type that tells you MUST do something and if you don't, then you are a sociopath.

But, we know the trust, right? You must HATE dogs... and cats... and any other flea-infested, stinky, fur-covered mess that tries to work its way into our homes, lives, and, God forbid, beds.

Ok, try to put this movie out of your minds now. Or it will drive you crazy all day!

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This blog may look stale and un-updated. Ok, well, it is. I admit it. But that doesn't mean that our members are stagnant in our hearts. We hate pets all day long, seven days a week. It's practically a full-time job representing our unfairly-persecuted beliefs. Many times, there are infuriating pro-pet items in the news and we get pissed off and talk amongst ourselves. I suppose we should take our passions and outrage and post here, but sometimes it is just easier on our blood pressure to try and put the PETA protests, for example, out of our minds as quickly as possible and pretend it never happened.

But, I will try and be better and bring our collective rage over to this blog more regularly. For now, if you hate pets - or all animals - email us to let us know. Nothing makes us happier.

After all, we sane people have to stick together in this crazy world.

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