Friday, April 16, 2004
Here is a basic run-down of why your life would be a lot better without a pet:
- People would like you more. - Nothing is more fearsome than when you ring the doorbell at your friend's house and you hear a dog barking or see a pet door. You know you're in for a loooonng visit, full of pet fur, strange odors, and perhaps even knee-licking. If you don't have a pet, people will enjoy visiting you more and you will be more popular.
- Your house will smell better and be more attractive. - You spend a lot of money to make a nice home for yourself. Shouldn't you enjoy it to the fullest? Without the pet hair on your furniture, kitty litter box in the bathroom, and half-eaten dog food on the floor, wouldn't it be a more pleasant place to live? Conside instituting a humans-only policy in your home. You won't regret it.
- You will have more time. - Imagine not having to walk a dog, clean up after a pet, or worry about if your pet has enough food and water. Don't we all have enough problems in life, besides caring for a stinky creature that can't take care of itself? Use your spare time to take up a new hobby, read a classic book, or just to watch a new reality show on TV. Any of these human-oriented time wasters are infinitely preferable to taking care of a pet. Try it and you'll be a believer.
- People won't think you're crazy. - Many pet owners are certifiably insane and actually believe that a human life and a pet life are equal in value. If you've ever bought a sweater for your pet or sent out your pet's photo as a Christmas card, everyone you know thinks you are crazy. And, they are right. Set your reputation back on the right track and dump the four-legged freaks and join the land of the reasonable. It's not too late for you to join the sane people again.
As you can see, a pet-free lifestyle is far more intelligent and sensible than one that involves the hassle and disgustingness of a pet. If you agree, please email us ASAP at firstname.lastname@example.org. Our Spring Membership Drive is underway and you won't want to miss out on another minute of the benefits of membership in PFL. Tell a friend!